How an Internet celeb is born

All it takes are two letters: e. l.

Google knows, of course, I’m referring to women’s soccer defender Elizabeth Lambert, the newest national media starlet of the University of New Mexico.

After typing those two letters, Google, in its infinite wisdom, lists “Elizabeth Lambert” as the No. 1 search possibility. Elizabeth Taylor and Elvis Presley, step aside, there’s a new Internet celebrity in town.

Within a week, Lambert’s questionable sportsmanship has captured national attention. ESPN featured the junior UNM student on several of its programs, dedicating much airtime for soccer pundits to analyze Lambert’s rough plays during the match last Thursday against Brigham Young University.

It didn’t stop there. The next stop on Lambert’s unintentional media blitz was  the Today Show on NBC, during which the media giant featured a segment of the infamous Albuquerque resident Monday morning.

Next, cable network G4TV featured the video Monday evening on its nightly commentary program, Attack of the Show. After anchors sarcastically congratulated Lambert, they added her to the official Attack of the Show’s “Dick Hall of Fame.”

And let’s not forget the power of the Web.

A video spotlighting Lambert’s, er, aggressiveness is posted on Youtube and boasts more than 2 million views – not to mention several other Youtube videos of the match – each with significant view counts.

Facebook pages have been created idolizing and demonizing Lambert. A fan page titled “GO ELIZABETH LAMBERT!” has more than 3,000 fans. Similar pages, such as “Elizabeth Lambert for President” and “Elizabeth Lambert Needs Therapy,” have sprouted throughout the social networking site. It would be interesting to know just how many friend requests she received over the weekend on her personal Facebook account.   

 In the blogosphere, some have called her a “loco lobo,” while others are chalking her down to one word: babe.

Whatever the case may be, it’s clear she’s a local star too. The Daily Lobo, UNM’s student-run newspaper, has posted several letters to the editor on its Web site – some claimed Lambert deserves forgiveness and others have deduced her actions as “thuggery.”

The Internet has proved to be a vehicle toward creating Lambert’s celebrity, and with thousands of hits per day, Lambert needs to begin to weigh her options. Suspended indefinitely for her actions, soccer, for now, is out. Rest assured Lambert, there are some positive side effects to your new fangled Internet glory.

Here are some suggestions for tackling the fame:

- Choose your interviews carefully. By now, you’ve likely received numerous calls from media outlets from around the country. Don’t settle for local news interviews or late night cable screamers. Think bigger: a classy nighttime slot on 20/20 or Larry King Live. I’m thinking dim lights, your silhouette and, of course, tears. For now, try to avoid late night comedy shows, and as a rule of thumb, steer clear of Dr. Phil.

 - Change your sport. Maybe consider a more aggressive outlet: Rugby, perhaps, or maybe a solitary sport, such as running or shot-put. Channel your fervor elsewhere.

 - Write a memoir. Take a few years and develop your craft. Then, let the proverbial wisdom flow outward. And, in case you’re not aware, memoirs are in. Possible title: “The Story Behind the Ponytail Takedown.”

 - Join a celeb-reality show. Use your stardom to strengthen ratings over at VH1 or FOX. Google says you are much more popular than the pseudo-celebrities who normally star in reality shows.   

Even in a negative light, it’s important for the people of New Mexico to thank Lambert. For better or worse, her hit video put us on the map. And what has this taught us? Anyone can become an overnight Internet sensation. Plus, as an added bonus, we now have the phrase “ponytail takedown” in our arsenals. Score one, us. 

Note: As of press time, Google no longer recognized Lambert in its popular search list, thus proving the volatile status of the instant Internet celebrity. On second thought, go for the Dr. Phil interview.

Dustin Edwards is the opinion editor and can be reached at truopinion@nmsu.edu